Prototype Report 153 - Sunglasses
Seeing the Light Right Before my Eyes
Hi K. Well…how was it? Everything you thought it’d be? I gotta say, I was shocked at how much your tickets were. First world pricing for sure. And let me guess, the service charges were way too high? Highway robbery! Still got my eye out for some shows I’d actually like to see over here. Believe it or not, K-pop’s not my thing. I know. Shocking…
Agent P’s new issue sunglasses are super cool. Best of all, I no longer look like a big bug! I’m sure you’ll find plenty of other ways to get your digs in, but at least I can strike that one off the list.
Speaking of bugs, none so far. I’m still in disbelief that Agent B says Seoul is a malarial zone. Haven’t seen a single mosquito. Supposedly there’s one or two flying around up in the DMZ but I’m not so sure about that either. We’ll see. I’m beginning to think that B isn’t much of a risk taker.
BTW, are bugs allowed unfettered travel back and forth across the DMZ? Isn’t that a security risk? Remember all those flying metal insects in The Expanse? Surely that must’ve sparked a few new ideas in the Think Tank. Just sayin. Keep a close eye on Agent P. Anyway, getting off topic. Back to the sunglasses. Here’s my draft PR. This one pairs nicely with that Moroccan mint tea you won’t stop raving about…
###
Tracking
MISSION: J35753-2025C
DCN: 7389997
TDY: SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA
DATE: 2025-05-06
TIME: 8:06 AM KST
TO: ALL FIELD AGENTS
FROM: AGENT J
CC: AGENTS R,P,D,K
SUBJECT: PROTOTYPE REPORT 153 - SUNGLASSESEquipment
NAME: SUNGLASSES
NO: MUL-SNG-3024
SIZE: ADULT, MENS
STYLE: CLASSIC WARPED SNOWBOARDING
COLOR: BLACK FRAMED, ORANGE LENSEDBackground
The primary purpose of a pair of sunglasses is to protect sensitive eyes from sunlight and glare. This is especially important for field agents with blue eyes which reportedly are more sensitive to bright lights. (In case other field agents didn’t know any of this, K? Duh! Must these background sections start with something so dull and frickin’ obvious? Seriously tho, about our blue eyes. Maybe we ask Agent W to dig around and see if the literature really backs this up?)
A second use case for sunglasses that’s often overlooked revolves around the fact that various cultures across the globe follow different etiquette rules with respect to making direct eye contact. Sunglasses can help mitigate difficult situations while traveling through such environments.
Finally, sunglasses can help disguise field agents while out on assignment allowing operatives to remain unrecognized while completing a mission so as not to compromise principal objectives.
Smart sunglasses are now available that seamlessly integrate with an agent’s tech ecosystem to provide real-time AI-augmented experiences. These new issue models are expected to promote uninterrupted and unrestrained communications between field agents and Headquarter operatives via proprietary encrypted interface filters. (K - how’s that for wordiness? Sound technical enough for a PR? What a great opportunity to purge my head of those big mouthy words I learned in the academy! Just a bit hard to digest, that’s all. My mouth hurts looking at all the long winded lingo…)
Style factors for a pair of shades are important and should be coordinated with the rest of a field agent’s wardrobe. Continuing to maintain a large inventory of models back at Headquarters allows field agents to select the best shape, color, and size for the particular mission at hand.
Materials of construction is also an important consideration when selecting a pair of sunglasses. The best choice often hinges on the expected activities for which they will be used. Factors like polarization, UV protection, scratch resistance, and plasticity are important to evaluate. Furthermore, design factors like lens size, peripheral capture, breathability, and sometimes even aerodynamics should also be considered.
Over many decades of Agency-led missions, sunglasses have proven to be super useful while out walking the streets in bright sunlight, people watching, mood setting, sun bathing, ignoring certain people, and for a variety of other uses.
Opinions
When wearing shades in transit, sunglasses don’t consume any space in backpacks. However, when stored in a bag, this field agent has found it important to keep sunglasses in a dedicated protective case to prevent damage. As learned on prior assignment (Mission J35752-2025B, Saigon, Vietnam), sunglasses stored by other inventive means arrived to field office in pieces, requiring this field agent to buy a cheap substitute from a local market while waiting for a dead drop from Agent P.
Best times to don sunglasses continue to include urban walks within cities, towns, and villages in addition to more natural settings like beaches, deserts, parks, wilderness areas, and anywhere else with limited shade opportunities. Other unexpected locations may include places like concerts, trains, street cars, buses, bars, cafes, etc. While this may be merely folklore, one particular field agent has been reportedly heard crooning “I wear my sunglasses at night.” Field agents are encouraged to continue finding and sharing new uses with other operatives during debrief sessions.
Materials of construction seem to be constantly improving. Many new sunglasses designs are relatively light in weight but are bulky when stored in pack. Designers should continue to be mindful of the challenge to reduce both weight and volume without compromising style for new model iterations.
As for lenses, this field agent prefers polarized models that cast yellowish-brown shades on subjects. Regardless of tint, selecting a pair with high levels of UVA and UVB protection is highly recommended. Smudging continues to be a persistent problem, but is easily solved by a quick wipe of the shirt. Daily cleaning with soap and water back at the field station has proven vital for ongoing mission success followed by more rigorous cleanings back at Headquarters during destaging activities. Unsurprisingly, due to the rigors of typical assignments, scratching of lenses is an ever-present risk.
As for comfort, good solutions are hard to come by. It’s been very difficult to find ones that field agents can wear all day without bothering things like nose bridges, temples, bony protrusions behind the ears, and other known hot spots.
Form factors continue to be very important. With the ages of field agents now spanning decades over multiple generations, it’s recommended that a wide variety of styles be maintained to appeal to a full spectrum of fashion tastes. Since older styles have a way of making comebacks, it’s suggested that aging inventory never be purged (K - great to see OG field agents still sporting P’s old classics!)
Recommendations
With all the improvements made over the years, field agents now have quite a selection to choose from. Nevertheless, a few upgrades are recommended.
First, increased durability would be useful to minimize potential for breakage in the field. Adopting new advanced materials of construction and upgrading to shatter-proof lenses meeting all the latest and greatest ASTM and ANSI standards should help achieve this goal.
Also, increased comfort may come easily with a few tweaks in product design. Inviting field agents to attend future Think Tank sessions back at Headquarters may prove useful for passing on advice from lessons learned while out on assignment.
As for costs, it’d be to everyone’s benefit if sunglasses were made to be less expensive. All those incredibly cheap sunglasses one finds at the night markets overseas offer stiff competition to Agency-issued pairs stored in the Vault.
To provide greater appeal to ultralight minimalist visionaries, new lighter models that take up even less space would be much appreciated. A reduction in both mass and volume while maintaining great form and function is exactly what field agents are continually striving for.
Finally, having experienced operatives participate in manufacturing activities back at the Shop and even witnessing all the fun down in Constructive & Catastrophic Testing may prove useful in providing immediate feedback on improving prototype designs. (K - notice how I resisted the temptation to use your most hated and awkward Agency acronym? I gotta agree with you, “C&CT” doesn’t easily spill off the tongue…)
With respect to the specific model of sunglasses under review by this Prototype Report (Equipment Number MUL-SNG-3024), field agent has only one complaint. The right side nose pad is coming loose. While this may turn out to be a construction defect for Agent P to address, Agent D may want to start beta-testing some new adhesive formulations up in the Lab if it turns out to be merely a bonding issue.
Index Scores
MASS: 2 - NEARLY NEGLIGIBLE
VOLUME: 5 - AVERAGE
UTILITY: 9 - ALMOST PERFECT
EFFICIENCY: 8 - EXCELLENT
OVERALL: 7 - VERY GOOD
###
K - I think that’s a wrap. As usual, on your way to finalizing the PR, please strip out all my sidebars, scrub out other annoyances, further edit, modify, polish, etc.
Got something for Agent L too. When I was using the remote portal to look up the equipment number from the database, things got super slow on this end with repeated messages saying “Error 404 - Equipment Not Found.” Likely just tight security. I took a stab at the number as a placeholder, but could you please look up and confirm? Please also give a heads up to L. This could be even bigger than a simple firewall issue…
Also, I meant to pass this along on my way out the door but forgot. Maybe we can suggest to Agent P that he reorganize and create some kind of index for all those cases in the Vault? Inventory is getting quite large now. He’s gotta have over two hundred cases now, each with twenty four sunglasses? What’s that come out in total? I’ll leave all that complicated math up to you. Nevertheless, with so many to choose from, searching for the right pair is becoming haphazard at best. Let’s discuss more on my return.
BTW, was it you who told me Agent P’s been working hard on his AI glasses? Gotta admit that I’m not at all looking forward to being required to wear them. Social media on steroids. No thank you. Go ahead and call me “old school” or “leaning luddite” again, but for me, life is so much better when off the feed.
Speaking of which, I just read in the news about Meta’s new Ray Ban AI sunglasses. Looks like Agent P’s got some new competition! They’ve got an awesome form factor, especially for those of us that had a pair of Ray Bans back in the 80s. But once again, I’ll take any pair of dumb-ass unplugged no-tech pair of janky sunglasses over any of those new glossy InstaChat FakeBook enabled pairs that mainline the net…
Super bright sunny day here in Seoul. Looks like I’ll be taking Agent P’s latest works of wonder out for another test drive.
P.S. If you have any short clips of that concert, please share. I’ve been dying to see those guys live. Please send directly to me tho - not a link to your feed. If you would be so kind :)
Later,
J
